Love antidote

by Cat Alexandra on October 10, 2014

Sometimes you realize that the reasons you thought you had for staying still simply do not exist. I had this epiphany today.
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Stagnancy.

I realized this because I found myself confronted with a bunch of lemons being chucked at my head. I could stand there like a fool and get pelted, standing defiantly, hurting myself out of pride. I could be stoic about it and watch the things around me, myself included, slowly decay. – OR – I could give myself what I needed, right now, in the living display of loving myself properly.

Today, a situation (I wish I could exit more quickly than yet have done) had me good and angry.

I knew I needed to “work it off” rather than allowing the stress hormones permission to infiltrate and poison my body and mind.

It occurred to me that what I was feeling was actuallly the release of remnant negativity which I’ve been eliminating from my life over time. Recognizing this to be an energetic detox was an “Ah ha” moment for me.

I knew what to do.

I was on my way to the gym to grunt out some frustrations, this realization hit me: Sure, sometimes a grunt is in order, but there are times you need more than just a physical exercise.  -There are times all you need is to be held, supported, and LOVED.

What I really needed was grass and trees, and to run…in nature’s embrace.

I needed living, thriving things and creatures around me.

I needed the warmth of the sun, kissing my skin. It doesn’t even take much for the sun to show evidence of its love on me because I break into nearly immediate freckles. (Hey, sometimes that’s even better than lipstick-stained kisses.)

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Epiphany.

I let myself be the wind (that I am ♒) and I ran, Aquarius ankles and all. Well, sprinted mostly, as that is much kinder on my joints due to my flat footedness. 🙂

I was overcome with the feelings of being fortunate to live, here, where I do now. Like the wolf that I am, I circled my area, surveying, assessing, and giving thanks for this land. Abundant support surrounds me. It is all around me now that my body and life have made me aware of why nothing should ever be taken for granted.

I receive messages with the help of my spirit guides in so many different ways. Much of this happens in the form of bio-feedback. I receive many messages and visions, as well, especially when I’m moving my energy and taking care of my earthly needs and wants.

On my trek, my conscious awareness was piqued on a number of topics…

For instance, there are people in my life who’ve consistently shown me they see me more kindly than I see myself. In contrast, I have also had people who constantly “said” they cared, yet showed me the direct opposite. I have chosen to be the type of person who allows others to show me who they are in life; however, I’ve also been overly-generous with regard to extending “free passes” to those who’ve repeatedly treated me poorly. This has been an issue I’ve had with establishing healthy boundaries, which I see has been a lifelong theme of me allowing myself to continue to be treated poorly, rather than stopping and redirecting my love and attentions toward myself and those whose places in my life justify my continued attention.

That’s an easy one for a caring person to get sucked into.

It’s often confusing for caring people to learn that asserting a healthy boundary (or inward focus) is neither a crime nor a betrayal to make towards others. Personally, I’ve grappled with guilt over this one my whole entire life. It’s serious man, lots of energy ventured on exercises in futility. (Thank goodness I’ve begun to live in a way that gives respect to this truth.)

I gave myself permission to itemize a list of my exercises in sheer futility. Relationships, things, work…

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A place I’ve called “home.”

It’s in the cosmic air for me to be sorting this out now. Also, I’m about to move. In about a month, I will be leaving this place I’ve called “home” for so long. And I realize now that I waited much longer than I needed to. I guess I just wanted to see things through.

All though there were more things I’d hoped to create while I was here, it turns out that those things either didn’t exist (at all) to be made or that their time has simply now passed.

I’ve had a cathartic process going on within and around me over the recent times. I see that I have been doing a lot of work, not expecting anything in return, but it’s clear to me where my efforts have been rewarded and where lands have remained barren despite my having lovingly attended to them.

Either way, the seeds I’ve planted along the way make me proud to represent. This has brought new beauty into my life, seeing the evidence of what I’ve been sowing and the things I’ve been caring about which have come to surprise me and to present their gifts. Personal decisions and resolutions are simpler to negotiate now.

Previously, I felt there were some limitations (which I allowed myself to *think* were holding me back and keeping me *here*). These things do not exist. Only what is new and *now* exists. It is a new day for Catherine. So I’ve made the decision to move (versus the stagnancy of watching things continue their decay).

This is why I’m such a fan of taking the time to go and move my energy and my body on a regular basis. It provides multifaceted healing: body, mind, and spirit. All I needed today was LOVE to get me through something that felt so difficult I couldn’t even stand it at the time.

Love is my antidote. End, period.

I choose to love me and let me *be*. There is a magick that lives in each of us that can thrive if we allow ourselves this freedom. I’m giving myself the latitude to discover where my magick leads, come what may. My heart chakra is wide open and I’m being guided all along. I choose now to heed my guidance and to embrace the wind that moves me so I continue to glide with its natural flow.

Thanks for reading. If you have anything to say or ask, shoot below. 😉

<3,
Cat

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Empath, energy worker, musician. Observer, thinker, participater & Intuitive Consultant. Dilettante on various other topics. Trying my hand at this "writing thing"... Time is not important, only the quality of life.

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1 Cat Alexandra October 23, 2014 at 5:12 pm

You’re welcome! 🙂
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